Creativity Crushed

It has been a long time since I have felt the need to blog.

Hell, it’s been a long time since I have felt the desire to write — to truly write. Aside from a handful of poems I wrote in January (one of which I shared here), my creative process has been dormant for almost two years.

To be fair, the past two years have been so chaotic that I’ve scarcely had time to think about creativity, much less unleash it. And even though we face yet another move in a few months, I feel as though other aspects of my life are settling enough that I can hear the muse whispering in my ear again.

My LuLaRoe business is growing steadily rapidly and I’ve hit a nice groove in posting and booking parties. I have six parties book this month in addition to my usual weekly group sale and I’ve started to book parties in April, too.

Ready for a Renewal

Despite remaining busy, I am ready to start unleashing my creativity again. More knitting — and I am doing this by knitting a few nights a week when I catch up on TV. More painting — so far I am doing this about one night a month, which is just fine for now. And last, but certainly not least, more writing.

This morning I woke up at 5:30am. I know that I will not be able to keep that up every morning, but I will try to commit it to it a few mornings a week.

I did not write this morning, however.

Instead, I opened up several Scrivener files that had half written scenes or where different versions of the same story idea…and I deleted them. All of them. And then I emptied the trash so that I could not be tempted to undelete the files.

I did this because I noticed that when I did try to sit down and write, I would spend my time opening old files and rereading old scenes. I told myself that I did it to “get into the writing mindset” or to put myself in world of said story. But all I was doing was procrastinating. If I had 30 precious minutes to write, I used up that entire time to reread scenes, and then closed all the files, lamenting that once again, I did not manage to write.

The story ideas are written in a OneNote file, but are reduced to a few sentences or key words. This way I don’t lose the idea, but when I am ready to work on one of them, I won’t waste my time rereading old scenes and words that just don’t work for the vision of the story.

I am forcing myself to start fresh.

I updated my site to a new look. I am resurrecting my newsletter — it will go out on the 20th of each month with some updates and a free tarot reading. I am also resurrecting my blog, to be updated every other week.

With all this, I shake loose the cobwebs and allow the last traces of my creative winter to disperse, readying a fresh garden for my muse to roam.

As spring comes back to the world and the flowers and trees begin to bloom again, so will — I hope — my creativity.